What are the warning signs that the stress of caregiving may be beyond the normal and that you need help?

1. Easily lose patience
2. Easily anger
3. Experience a loss of energy
4. Lose sleep but not from providing care
5. Appetite changes
6. Provide care 24/7
7. Find no joy in any aspect of your life
8. Have frequent crying spells
9. Feel a constant sense of depression, anguish, and despair
10. Don’t think you can go on much longer.
11. Don’t know to whom to turn
12. Use drugs or alcohol to get by

If you check most or all of these feelings, you are likely depressed in a clinical sense. There are many support groups, clinicians, and organizations that will provide help and guidance. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. If you have considered suicide or homicide, call now.

It’s normal to be stressed by stressful situations. And caregiving for progressive neurological conditions is one of the most challenging stressors I have seen during my 30+ years as a psychologist. As a caregiver you need to understand that it is not only ok but also necessary to sometimes put yourself first. It is okay to make mistakes and become frustrated, impatient, and angry. Whatever you feel is ok. And it is ok to ask for advice and help from others.

Caregiving requires attention to both the needs and feelings of the person giving as well as the person receiving the care. Treatment of dementing conditions needs to address both the needs of the person with loss of memory as well as the needs of the caregiver from the start. Both should be actively involved in all phases of assessment and treatment. The focus of treatment needs to include those who will provide the care.

Caregiving requires effort to take a more positive approach to the task. Don’t forget to care for yourself. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. It’s ok to become overwhelmed and frustrated. A bad morning does not have to spoil the whole day. Learn from your mistakes without punishing yourself. Accept offers from family or friends to help with care. Accept offers to go out with friends. “I can’t” really means that what you have to do or face is hard. You don’t have to do everything alone. Get exercise and do something relaxing for yourself each day.